So I went to a reading of my friend/mentor’s play called Trouble Shooting last night. SIDE NOTE: awesome play, if I was gonna be around in Chicago I would be all over that like a fat kid on cake.
My friend Sam was there, and she is moving to NYC in a few months, but something she said to me kind of struck me.
“You don’t really talk about your move much.”
To which I opened my mouth to reply but fell silent almost instantly. I don’t. She’s right.
….WHY is that?
Maybe it’s because I’m more scared then I am willing to admit to myself. I had a flash of enlightment yesterday walking home. I actually LIKE my life. I have very good friends and a very supportive family. My career is, while not exactly flourishing, headed in the right direction at this point none the less. I feel loved. I feel good. I feel content. Maybe those 3 adjectives are precisly WHY I should leave and purposefully scare myself shitless by taking on grad school and a whole new country.
I remember towards the end of ‘10 beginning of ‘11 thinking, “DEAR GOD I just NEED to get out of here!!” and now with September looming just a few months away I find myself trying to ignore the fact that I am moving thousands of miles away as much as possible.
Hindsight is 20/20 they say…
Or maybe ansence makes the heart grow fonder?
“They” just really need to shut the fuck up.
